As I say goodnight to the world

So I am currently in bed thinking (as I always am) and also totally stressed out. The stress in due to many things but lately its been family things on top of trying to figure out my life purpose. And finding my life purpose wouldn't stress me out as much if people would just stop asking me, "So what is next for you?" I guess it is inevitable that I was going to be asked that question, but it does not make it any easier to answer, because I don't know. This stress also always comes about when I apply for a job online. I put some much emphasis on it and hope that this will be my golden ticket moment. This is it, this will be the application, I am what they want in a employee, who is better than me? These are the things I tell myself, which makes receiving the rejection letter (Sorry thanks but no thanks) so much harder. I hype it up, the whole application process, just to be crushed when I don't get the job. And I know millions of Americans are in the same boat, but I haven't even gotten my chance yet. No one knows what I can and cannot do. I have so much to offer but no one wants to trust me (which I know is hard to come by these days.) The people who ask me "So what is next for you" don't realize the pressure that they put on me. Like geez give me a second to breath here I am really trying. Do people really believe I want to work a part time job that doesn't even require a college education for the rest of my like, honestly give me some credit. I have just spent 4 years and a s*** load of money to receive a 8.5x11 piece of paper that basically says she's got it, pick her, but no one is picking me. I thought getting pick last during gym class sucked. Nope, this sucks much worse.

Heres to being an underpaid college graduate and my first blog rant! I hope your day is better than mine.

Let me clear something up

Hi again! So I realized after I posted my first post, I should have explained why I chose "Fighting Fashionista" as my blog title. Well, as you know I am a recent college graduate of JWU where I studied Fashion Merchandising & Retail Marketing. I have always loved fashion and have always been drawn to it. Now just to get things straight I don't like it in the stereotypical I like to shop there for I majored in fashion. I love feeling shirts and guessing the textile make-up or flipping through the newspaper and naming the designer that the celebrity is wearing. I love the history, the forecasting, the language. So when I say I love fashion, you can believe me when I say I am not some shopper fashionista wanna be. Any who, I currently work part time at Anthropologie, a store that I've been obsessed with for a long time. I enjoy working there very much and get along with all of my fellow associates and managers. But I am still searching for a job that is more creative. I interned at my Anthro store last spring and it was a life changing experience. I was a display intern and worked closely with the visual team to create the in-store and window displays. Unlike most stores, Anthro stores create their display in house and everything is made basically by hand. It takes a lot of time and trial and error, but when the display is finished and in the store it makes the whole process worth it. So basically I am looking for a job where I feel that feeling again. Looking at something that I made and that I am proud of, something that at the end of the day I can go home and feel accomplished. I don't know if that is asking for too much, but that is what I am in search of. So my blog name is me the fashionista not giving up until I've found that job that gives me that feeling. And I won't give up.